Gone gone gone
Are the days in my past
The good time I had
That never seemed to last
Down down down
Deeper and deeper I go
Not going to fast
And not going too slow
Falling falling falling
There is air all around
Nothing when I look up
And nothing when I look down
Lost lost lost
Are the smiles and cheers
Nothing left but heart ach
Sadness and fears
Searching searching searching
For a light to see
Just so I can see you
Just so you can see me
Up up up
You pulled me higher
You gave me back my will
You light my doused fair
Caught caught caught
You got there in time
You stopped me from hitting
You taught me to clime
Found found found
You never gave up on me
You fought and you fought
And it is now I see
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Question and Answer
I am not sure what inspered this one but i kinda like it.
Question
I know I haven’t called you
It has been so very long
And I sorry I didn’t listen
When you tried to tell me I was wrong
I wish I would have taken your advise
And not done all the things I did
Things might not have been so hard
I wouldn’t have lived the life I lived
But that’s not why I’m calling now
I don’t know were else to turn
You said you would always help if we asked
That’s one lesson I’m glad I learned
You see my mother is really sick
The doctors don’t know what else they can do
They say that she is already gone
But I can’t believe that it is true
She has served her family so diligently
Never seeking for praise or gain
She has always worked to make others smile
And now she has felt little else but pain
It is not her time to leave this earth
She’s to precious and way too young
She has so much more of her love to give
So many good works that are not yet done
So father I ask you, while on my knees
To allow me to take her place
Heal her of all her many afflictions
and bring color to the cheek on her face
I am the one who deserves this
I deserve to feel all of her pain
I have done so many terrible things
I now hang my head in shame
So father please tell me your answer
Will you allow me to take her place
To be redeemed of all my sins
And allow color back to my mother’s face
Answer
My dear sweet daughter please hear me
I know that discomfort that is all too real
I know the sadness you are going through
And the pain you wish you could feel
I can not give you what you wish
But I hope you will listen while I explain
You mother is now here by my side
And I promise you, she feels no more pain
Your mother has done all that I asked
And he place in heaven is set in stone
She has been an example to all she knew
And has helped many of my children come home
It is not your mother that causes me to answer
It is the sincerity of your prayer
The love and devotion that you have expresses
In the world you live in, is very rare
You now know, is a small proportion
What it felt for me to watch my son
As he hung on the cross in agony
But still plead for the souls of everyone
I want you to know that because of that
The redemptions you desire is given to you
The pain that you think you need to feel
He felt so you wouldn’t have to
You say you’re not worthy to live on earth
But, my daughter, you don’t understand
You can be happy and feel at peace
You need only reach up and take my hand
I can lead you through your darkest days
If you open your eyes to see the light
I can guide you anywhere you go
If you take head and chose the right
So rise from your knees and hold up your head
You are forgiven by the Father because of the Son
Do as you mother taught you to do
And you will join her when your journey is done
I know I haven’t called you
It has been so very long
And I sorry I didn’t listen
When you tried to tell me I was wrong
I wish I would have taken your advise
And not done all the things I did
Things might not have been so hard
I wouldn’t have lived the life I lived
But that’s not why I’m calling now
I don’t know were else to turn
You said you would always help if we asked
That’s one lesson I’m glad I learned
You see my mother is really sick
The doctors don’t know what else they can do
They say that she is already gone
But I can’t believe that it is true
She has served her family so diligently
Never seeking for praise or gain
She has always worked to make others smile
And now she has felt little else but pain
It is not her time to leave this earth
She’s to precious and way too young
She has so much more of her love to give
So many good works that are not yet done
So father I ask you, while on my knees
To allow me to take her place
Heal her of all her many afflictions
and bring color to the cheek on her face
I am the one who deserves this
I deserve to feel all of her pain
I have done so many terrible things
I now hang my head in shame
So father please tell me your answer
Will you allow me to take her place
To be redeemed of all my sins
And allow color back to my mother’s face
Answer
My dear sweet daughter please hear me
I know that discomfort that is all too real
I know the sadness you are going through
And the pain you wish you could feel
I can not give you what you wish
But I hope you will listen while I explain
You mother is now here by my side
And I promise you, she feels no more pain
Your mother has done all that I asked
And he place in heaven is set in stone
She has been an example to all she knew
And has helped many of my children come home
It is not your mother that causes me to answer
It is the sincerity of your prayer
The love and devotion that you have expresses
In the world you live in, is very rare
You now know, is a small proportion
What it felt for me to watch my son
As he hung on the cross in agony
But still plead for the souls of everyone
I want you to know that because of that
The redemptions you desire is given to you
The pain that you think you need to feel
He felt so you wouldn’t have to
You say you’re not worthy to live on earth
But, my daughter, you don’t understand
You can be happy and feel at peace
You need only reach up and take my hand
I can lead you through your darkest days
If you open your eyes to see the light
I can guide you anywhere you go
If you take head and chose the right
So rise from your knees and hold up your head
You are forgiven by the Father because of the Son
Do as you mother taught you to do
And you will join her when your journey is done
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Thank You Mom
This is one that I wrote a while ago but I have been thinking about my mother A LOT lately and I wanted to post this incase she has forgotten just how much she means to me and just how much I appreciate all that she has done and has yet to do for me
Thank You Mom
When I was 1 you fed and bathed me
I thanked you by crying all night
When I was 2 you taught me to walk
I thanked you by running away when you called
When I was 3 you make our meals with love
I thanked you by throwing my plate on the floor
When I was 4 you gave me some crayons to color
I thanked you by coloring all over the white walls
When I was 5 you dressed be up for the holidays
I thanked you by jumping in the nearest water puddle
When I was 6 you walked me to school
I thanked you by yelling “I’M NOT GOING”
When I was 7 you made me a beautiful church dress
I thanked you by never warring
When I was 8 you warned me about the trials ahead
I thanked you by not allowing you to help me through them
When I was 10 you drove me to school, parties, & every ware else I wanted to go
I thanked you by jumping out of the car and never looking back
When I was 12 you helped me through my first heart brake
I thanked you by saying “You don’t know how I feel!!!”
When I was 14 you tried so hard to trust and believe in me
I thanked you by do everything you asked me not to
When I was 16 you took me and my friend to the movies
I thanked you by asking you to sit in a different row
When I was 18 you took me on a dream vacation to Disney Land
I thanked you by moving out the day after we came home
When I was 20 you began treating me like an adult
I thanked you by acting like a child
When I was 22 you spent your time and money so I can come home to visit
I thanked you by moving half-way across the country
Through the years of my youth and still today I have never been able to fully express my love and appreciation for all you have done. I hope you understand that I will never
be able to but I will never stop trying. I Love You Mom!
Thank You Mom
When I was 1 you fed and bathed me
I thanked you by crying all night
When I was 2 you taught me to walk
I thanked you by running away when you called
When I was 3 you make our meals with love
I thanked you by throwing my plate on the floor
When I was 4 you gave me some crayons to color
I thanked you by coloring all over the white walls
When I was 5 you dressed be up for the holidays
I thanked you by jumping in the nearest water puddle
When I was 6 you walked me to school
I thanked you by yelling “I’M NOT GOING”
When I was 7 you made me a beautiful church dress
I thanked you by never warring
When I was 8 you warned me about the trials ahead
I thanked you by not allowing you to help me through them
When I was 10 you drove me to school, parties, & every ware else I wanted to go
I thanked you by jumping out of the car and never looking back
When I was 12 you helped me through my first heart brake
I thanked you by saying “You don’t know how I feel!!!”
When I was 14 you tried so hard to trust and believe in me
I thanked you by do everything you asked me not to
When I was 16 you took me and my friend to the movies
I thanked you by asking you to sit in a different row
When I was 18 you took me on a dream vacation to Disney Land
I thanked you by moving out the day after we came home
When I was 20 you began treating me like an adult
I thanked you by acting like a child
When I was 22 you spent your time and money so I can come home to visit
I thanked you by moving half-way across the country
Through the years of my youth and still today I have never been able to fully express my love and appreciation for all you have done. I hope you understand that I will never
be able to but I will never stop trying. I Love You Mom!
Monday, February 9, 2009
"Brothers" by Dean Brody
This is not a poem that I wrote. It is a song that I heard on the radio yesterday and it made me ball like a baby. It reminded me of my Brother Ryan of course. I hope you like it and if your eyes stay dry while you read it then you are stronger then I am
"Brothers" by Dean Brody
The house was like a tomb.
I was hiding in my room.
As my brother made his way on down the hall.
I didn't want to say goodbye.
And I was trying to deny there was a war,
And that he got the call.
I watched him from my window
Walking down the drive.
Then I ran down the stairway
Through the front door and I cried
You come back you hear?
And I let him see my tears
I said I'll give you my rookie of DiMaggio.
I'll do anything you want,
Clean your room, or wash your car.
I'll do anything so long as you don't go.
But he said, this is what brothers are for.
Well I have my heroes,
But the one I love the most
Taught me how to hunt and swing a bat.
And I wrote him every night,
I said I miss our pillow fights,
But lately I just wonder where you're at.
Sometimes freedom makes it hard to live.
But it takes things from you that you don't want to give.
I said you come back you hear?
I miss you being near.
Laugh and fish down in the maple grove
I'll do anything you want.
There must be someone I can call,
And just maybe they would let you come back home.
But he wrote, this is what brothers are for.
I may never have to face the anger of those guns,
Or lie cold and wounded in my blood,
Or know the sacrifice and what it must of cost
For him to love me that much.
Well, it had been two years,
And I held back my tears
When I saw him in that wheel chair on the shore.
And as I ran and held him tight,
That's when he looked me in the eye
And said I'm sorry that you have to push me home.
And I said hey, this is what brothers are for.
"Brothers" by Dean Brody
The house was like a tomb.
I was hiding in my room.
As my brother made his way on down the hall.
I didn't want to say goodbye.
And I was trying to deny there was a war,
And that he got the call.
I watched him from my window
Walking down the drive.
Then I ran down the stairway
Through the front door and I cried
You come back you hear?
And I let him see my tears
I said I'll give you my rookie of DiMaggio.
I'll do anything you want,
Clean your room, or wash your car.
I'll do anything so long as you don't go.
But he said, this is what brothers are for.
Well I have my heroes,
But the one I love the most
Taught me how to hunt and swing a bat.
And I wrote him every night,
I said I miss our pillow fights,
But lately I just wonder where you're at.
Sometimes freedom makes it hard to live.
But it takes things from you that you don't want to give.
I said you come back you hear?
I miss you being near.
Laugh and fish down in the maple grove
I'll do anything you want.
There must be someone I can call,
And just maybe they would let you come back home.
But he wrote, this is what brothers are for.
I may never have to face the anger of those guns,
Or lie cold and wounded in my blood,
Or know the sacrifice and what it must of cost
For him to love me that much.
Well, it had been two years,
And I held back my tears
When I saw him in that wheel chair on the shore.
And as I ran and held him tight,
That's when he looked me in the eye
And said I'm sorry that you have to push me home.
And I said hey, this is what brothers are for.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Valentine's Day
Why give me candy
when I can simply buy it myself
Why send me a dozen roses
that will die on the shelf
Who needs a small stuffed animals
just collecting dust
And lacy lingerie,
that proves nothing but your lust
No candle light dinners
that set off the fair alarm
No corny slow dance
where you try to lay on the charm
Forget the romantic cards,
with words I’ll never even read
Give me something for Valentine's Day
that I really need
Tell me that you love me
and just hold onto my hand
Show me why I fell in love
and chose you for my man
So forget the corny cards
and all the commercial tricks
Blow out the candles
and turn off the bonnet flicks
Embrace me with your love
like you never have before
That is all I want and need,
nothing less, nothing more
when I can simply buy it myself
Why send me a dozen roses
that will die on the shelf
Who needs a small stuffed animals
just collecting dust
And lacy lingerie,
that proves nothing but your lust
No candle light dinners
that set off the fair alarm
No corny slow dance
where you try to lay on the charm
Forget the romantic cards,
with words I’ll never even read
Give me something for Valentine's Day
that I really need
Tell me that you love me
and just hold onto my hand
Show me why I fell in love
and chose you for my man
So forget the corny cards
and all the commercial tricks
Blow out the candles
and turn off the bonnet flicks
Embrace me with your love
like you never have before
That is all I want and need,
nothing less, nothing more
Sunday, January 18, 2009
From all the mistakes I have made in my life many things have been learned
I have found that the best advise is that which has been earned
When I disobeyed my parents and found myself in a place I wished not to be
I learned that no matter what I think, they do know more then me
When I gave my life to fun rather then faith and found I was unhappy and lost
I learned that what is easy is not always worth the eternal cost
When I lived my life with pride and found that no one looked at me with respect
I learned that it is not what I say that matters but it is how I act
When I chose a fellow over a friend and found myself alone in a time of need
I learned that it is the company I keep witch cause me to grow or bleed
But most of all these lessons of life, I have learned that life is given by living,
Laughter is made by making, and love is enriched by loving
I have found that the best advise is that which has been earned
When I disobeyed my parents and found myself in a place I wished not to be
I learned that no matter what I think, they do know more then me
When I gave my life to fun rather then faith and found I was unhappy and lost
I learned that what is easy is not always worth the eternal cost
When I lived my life with pride and found that no one looked at me with respect
I learned that it is not what I say that matters but it is how I act
When I chose a fellow over a friend and found myself alone in a time of need
I learned that it is the company I keep witch cause me to grow or bleed
But most of all these lessons of life, I have learned that life is given by living,
Laughter is made by making, and love is enriched by loving
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
There is the Intro to my new book
“You’re ok, don’t worry. Just keep you head down and what ever you do… Don’t scream”
Intro
Carrie couldn’t understand what was going on. She couldn’t see a thing. She could tell that her eyes were open but all sight was gone. As she came closer and closer to conciseness she checked her other four scenes.
Smell. It was a combination of rust and dirt but there was another scent that she was not sure about. Sweat? Maybe.
Hearing. She thought she herd a quick but low passing of air but she couldn’t tell because there was a laud echo in the distance that seemed to be getting closer. She new it was moving because as the noise got loader she could feel the ground beneath her vibrate more furiously.
Then, with a frightening realization, she recognized touch. Her entire body was pressed hard against the ground. Something or someone was wrapped around her torso, locking her arms tight against her sides so she could not move an inch. She tried to turn onto her back but when she moved her shoulder, what ever was holding her let go. She could tell that whatever it was moved about ten to fifteen feet away and stopped but she was so startled that she froze in place.
“Who are you? What do you want?” she muttered and curled her knees under her body as she let out a huge grunt trying to stand up. As she stood she found out that standing was a bad idea. “Ouch!!!” her hand flew to the crown of her head in reflex to cover the spot were a stabbing pain began to plus through her scalp. It felt like someone just hit her over the head with a bat, splitting her skull in two.
“I told you to keep you head down” the stranger snickered. His voice was low and rigged as if he was still recovering from an award winning 100 yard dash.
She felt something sticky and wet… “Blood, Great”
“Hold still. Let me take a look. And keep quite”. The stranger put his hand on her shoulder and pushed her back down towards the ground forcing her into an Indian style sitting position. He ran his fingers through her hair, parting it on the right side of her head where she obviously hit it against something hard and sharp. “It’s only a small cut. Just be glad that this one looks better then the one on your lip”
She slowly moved her hand over her lips not wanting to know what he was referring to. When she passed over her lower left lip she felt a sharp jolt of pain. Her stomach seemed to roll into itself as she tasted something like iron on the tip of her tongue. But instead being cold and hard like an iron bar, it was warm and wet.
“Blood!” she said with an exasperated sigh for the second time in the past minute. At least she had four of her five senses.
Intro
Carrie couldn’t understand what was going on. She couldn’t see a thing. She could tell that her eyes were open but all sight was gone. As she came closer and closer to conciseness she checked her other four scenes.
Smell. It was a combination of rust and dirt but there was another scent that she was not sure about. Sweat? Maybe.
Hearing. She thought she herd a quick but low passing of air but she couldn’t tell because there was a laud echo in the distance that seemed to be getting closer. She new it was moving because as the noise got loader she could feel the ground beneath her vibrate more furiously.
Then, with a frightening realization, she recognized touch. Her entire body was pressed hard against the ground. Something or someone was wrapped around her torso, locking her arms tight against her sides so she could not move an inch. She tried to turn onto her back but when she moved her shoulder, what ever was holding her let go. She could tell that whatever it was moved about ten to fifteen feet away and stopped but she was so startled that she froze in place.
“Who are you? What do you want?” she muttered and curled her knees under her body as she let out a huge grunt trying to stand up. As she stood she found out that standing was a bad idea. “Ouch!!!” her hand flew to the crown of her head in reflex to cover the spot were a stabbing pain began to plus through her scalp. It felt like someone just hit her over the head with a bat, splitting her skull in two.
“I told you to keep you head down” the stranger snickered. His voice was low and rigged as if he was still recovering from an award winning 100 yard dash.
She felt something sticky and wet… “Blood, Great”
“Hold still. Let me take a look. And keep quite”. The stranger put his hand on her shoulder and pushed her back down towards the ground forcing her into an Indian style sitting position. He ran his fingers through her hair, parting it on the right side of her head where she obviously hit it against something hard and sharp. “It’s only a small cut. Just be glad that this one looks better then the one on your lip”
She slowly moved her hand over her lips not wanting to know what he was referring to. When she passed over her lower left lip she felt a sharp jolt of pain. Her stomach seemed to roll into itself as she tasted something like iron on the tip of her tongue. But instead being cold and hard like an iron bar, it was warm and wet.
“Blood!” she said with an exasperated sigh for the second time in the past minute. At least she had four of her five senses.
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